Abandoning Myself to Love

India, well I came thinking I was prepared. But how can you really prepare for this....

The first few days here were really rough. I really thought I didnt have any mindset on how things would be or anything like that. But i did... It caused a lot of heartache a lot of What the Heck am I doing?? I want to go home. My body was literally rejecting the food, water and everything because of my thoughts. Being in India pulls on everything in you that you havent let die. Sooo.... I had to go through some SOZO (liberty road) Thanks to Mother Teresa... I have never really been away from my family for any long amount of time, so it was hard to let go and let Papa God have it all. Talk about Trust.

My heart has literally been broke. The things you see are almost numbing your mind cannot comprehend. Its really like it can not be real.... Friday night as we were in our 16 hour bus ride we starting seeing the children and adults laying on the streets, on the cement.. And people including us just had to drive by. You don't see that in Atoka.... My life has been incredibly changed and I haven't even been here a week. We haven't even been to the roughest parts yet. Pastor James was telling us tonight how in villages if they cannot take care of their children they kill them. Not to long ago a man not very far away killed his 11 month old little girl because he couldnt take care of her. You realize how they think. They really believe it is a good thing to do that. They would rather them die than have to suffer. Breaks my heart to think they believe its their only option.

So here we are at A2L willing to say, whatever you want from us. We are creating an atmosphere to let God be God. Completely abandoning ourselves to the love of our life. I don't have to pick up the pressure of saving every child in India, as long as I am face to face with my Love everything else just falls into place. If you want to stand lets stand. If you want to run lets run. If you want to dance lets dance. I want to be completely vulnerable to him.

Isn't he wonderful.... Yesterday when resting listening to Graham Cooke I had an encounter that changed my way of thinking.

I was standing in a field in India with my hands held high, out of my hands and mouth and body came this white smoke like incense it overtook my body and then starting feeling the air all the way to the clouds. My face was pointed towards the sky as i noticed an angel above me threw a large Diamond down at me. It hit the right side of my chin and i heard the thump. I quickly sat up because I had felt it so heavily hit me I knew the diamond must be in bed with me.

Having to laugh at myself realizing hello...... I dont have to DO anything, I just have to release who I am...

#I am Branded